Whilst rewriting yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me:

I have no clue what the hell I’m doing.

I’ve now gone round the houses, through the houses, blown the houses up with dynamite, rebuilt them, swapped them with Barratt Homes, lost all my money, moved out of there & ended up in a squat in a Glasgow estate with three screaming weans, a heroin habit and a gambling boyfriend with tattoos and gold teeth.

In short, I’m f*cked if I know what to do next with this project.

Of course it doesn’t help the script has turned bad and is now talking to me:

SCRIPT: You’re shit.

ME: Shut up, I’m rewriting you.

SCRIPT: No point; you’re shit.

ME: Nope, not listening, *lalalalalalalala*

SCRIPT: Hey, why listen to me? The evidence is there ON THE PAGE! You’re shit. And you know it.

ME: I’ll erase you if you’re not careful.

SCRIPT: Go ahead: then you’ll just be admitting how shit you are. DO IT.

ME: I’ll file you. In my MISC folder!

SCRIPT: Again, the end result is the same.

ME: So I’ll keep rewriting. You’ve gotta get good sometime.

SCRIPT: I might. You won’t. You suck.

Anyone else ever feel like this? Of course you have. So what do you do to silence the evil voice of your script at times like this?

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4 Responses to Stuck In The Quagmire of Rewrite Insanity

  1. drettworlb says:

    Yep, know that feeling. Been there, just recently actually, hoping that I'm coming out the other side but that might just be me deluding myself … what did I do? I waited it out and worked on something else and then sneaked back when the script wasn't looking and beat it into submission.

  2. M J says:

    I eat Haribo, and then pretend I'm deliberately writing a crap, experimental draft – it usually works as the pressure is off.

  3. Paul McIntyre says:

    It's one of those annoying situations where you just have to put it in a drawer and leave it for a few days – the answer always comes when you do something else. Something like hoovering.

  4. Shane Knight says:

    It's simple.

    Give 'the voice' a co-writing credit. That way then means that you're both shit.

    One of you will be doing something wrong, so tell 'your voice' that he/she better up their game and put some fuckin effort in.

    Then when the time comes thank 'your voice' for all it's hard work and hand in the script with only your name on the front cover, as a script

    "Written by Lucy Vee
    The Evil voice inside my head"

    Will not do.

    The Voice will be put out of joint and it's lesson well and truly learnt. Leaving you free for the next project and an entirely new 'Evil little shit' to contend with.

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