About a week ago, I needed some cash, but being a writer of course I didn’t have any. So I did what anyone would do – I asked my eleven year old son for some, since he seems to be freakishly rich thanks to guilty relatives on his absent father’s side. Son said no problem, subbed me a tenner and wrote it down in his little book.

So last night I was brushing my teeth and Son wanders into the bathroom. “Mum, you owe me a tenner.” He declares: “I may start charging you interest soon.”

Interest?? Little bugger. So I said: “I don’t remember you lending me a tenner,” out of sheer badness.

Except Son has an ace up his sleeve: “If you don’t give me my tenner back, I’ll phone Childline and tell them you’ve been stealing my money to buy crack.”


Tony Jordan, my son is still available.

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5 Responses to Male Spawn Strikes Again

  1. Liv says:

    Mine pulls that crap all the time. I owe him like 100+ in back allowance. I'm like "You see that car out there on blocks?" "Well until that's fixed we're all going to have to make sacrifices."

    Makes me feel like a crap parent sometimes…. 🙁

  2. Lucy V says:

    I wouldn't worry – you do your best and the little blighters grow up to write a book about how you RUINED THEIR LIFE regardless!!!

  3. Antonia says:

    Little sods. Milk it while you can: while they've got it!

  4. The Random Within says:

    I see one of the architects of the credit crunch of the future there.

    Either that or a loan shark…. or is there a difference?

    Just repay him, but tell him he has to pay for his own dinners at school 🙂

  5. DJ Chamberlain says:

    My daughter does this too. However, I reversed it back on her and said that it was RENT for her room… and if she was lucky I wouldn't charge her back due rent…

    I should add that my fast minded daughter quickly changed the subject to the fact that if she was paying rent for her room she wasn't under any obligation to clean it…

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